Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.
It's so late but this is when my mind is wild. I feel at ease, my worry from the last 30 some hours has nearly vanished. Other than my disgust for women (not all) and their weakness to feel somewhat important, by any means necessary..I am alright and know I am immensely a better person for never selling myself short in those senses. I am not even going to explain much further but I am glad I have confidence and stand my ground, no matter what. And being vulgar and baring myself in any case is not my thing, I'm too shy. Therefore, I feel great about myself. Mama taught me well, as did all my other female childhood heroes and my brothers.
As of now, I feel positive about my future. I keep telling myself it's going to be tough for a while but as long as I use the shit to fuel me further, I will eventually be golden. I am not basing this all on my silly daydreams either but keeping myself focused on what I need to do. For once, I will try; and have realistic expectations. I am going to follow through and succeed. I am not going to let anyone or anything fuck this up for me. I have an honest future ahead of me and at least now I am realizing I am fortunate and worked hard enough to get where I am. I am going to make something of myself..
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