I learned to screen the good from the bad in my life, I am not going to take my time being nice to everyone. When I don't want to hold a conversation, I am going to be blunt now. When I am hurt, I am going to be hurt and move on. If I feel cynical, I will indulge in the rage, swim through it's swarming sea of buzzing wasps. I have wasted too much of my life being a push over that I am in fact near the edge of sanity. One more push and I'll be set free. It feels weird to say and I almost feel guilty. But I must be honest with myself and my emotions first before I can handle others. I have been beaten down and broken up into too many pieces, spending most of my days trying to place myself back together but I am not fuckin humpty dumpty and I am only human and I am far too complex to be taken merely for a ride. And you cannot force anything inside yourself like I learned the hard way.
It's good to hear you sad. A consolation prize of love.
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Being blunt is an excellent possible, I seem to spend hours of my life iventing intricate excuses , bitching and changing what I thinkk and feel to accomodate others views. Maybe its my turn to do this.
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