high as a kite, I just might..

Seeing you was strange, I didn't intend on it at all. Nor did I intend on getting all fuzzy and acting like a child. It does not feel right, at all in my heart, to hear you say you wanted something new. Because my mental state is usually weak, especially since the drugs got to me. I am going to keep working hard and waking up early no matter how bad my bones hurt. I should be more of an adult but most days I just wanna take off and not come back. I will hear New York over the phone and the excitement back home, I close my eyes and I can smell that thick air and feel the grates with the subway passing by. Even though I say I must keep movingmoving moving, working working, consuming, learning, etc. I just want to crawl in my bed and hope you'll call like old times. I just want to lay in your bedroom all day like I did not even two weeks ago and do your dishes and fuck up the mac&cheese and drink too many beers and dance around. That made me happy.