milemarking

Sometimes, with days like this I just wanna take off. Take your car and drive up the east coast, three hours outta North Carolina, another six in Virginia, stop and stock up on cheap gas and cigarettes before hitting the northern corner. Hit rush hour in D.C, get stuck on the bridge over Maryland, then another four hours or so til we're in the city. Complain about Jersey's shitty drivers and traffic. Ride around the bend of the ramp into the lights of the city, hit the bridges and find my way back to 168th str. I got a soul that's on fire and I can't stand sitting in the same state for too long. I want to smell the air and watch all the thousands of cars go east, west, north and south and try to catch some faces. I wanna see the clouds change and the rain to fall only for it to be sunny again. I want to see the production and realize people are travelin, wherever.

Then I realize I don't even have a license and am wreckless. And your car doesn't start. We got enough time, and we're working hard. And I know sometimes I am lazy and sleep in bed all day, at least I get up eventually... My mother said I was cold and how she hoped she'd never be on my shit side. I told her why should I show any more sympathy towards someone just cause they offed themselves? We're all fighting a fucking battle, I am sorry I feel nothing if you're gonna give up the live you were given. Life is too beautiful in the end, and getting out of the tough times makes it worth it. I am learning and dealing every way I can with the demons and hatred and sadness inside. I am not gonna give up.

I am learning more from Kerouac than my heart could have imagined and my eyes could have witnessed.