After a day and a night of spontaneity, I realized that I might tell myself I don't need you. But really..I just miss you all the time when you're not there to drink 40s or split cigarettes with me and talk to about music or the tough stuff and funny stuff in life. You calm me down and put me to sleep. I wish you could put me to sleep all the time. I want you there but you can't be. Thinking about all of this just fucks with me harder and pushes us farther apart. I would like to know another way.

Why the fuck do I take everything to heart when there's no actual evidence, my thoughts just seem so damn convincing when you're not even trying. Or it feels that way, shit.