Helter Skeltur

I had a dream Charles Manson and I were best friends. It was actually a lot of fun, and apparently I laughed a lot in my dream. We went out with rifles and shot things, not people, I think or something. It was cool, he was really cool and more like a redneck grandpa than anything else. Call me crazy, I know. I see him as a crazy old guy anyways.

Yesterday during the storm, Addison picked me up and we went to his house and set up camp, ha. We had decent beer that kept us warm and ordered pizza and watched Point Break. I have seen Point Break more times than I want to admit. A package was dropped off for the previous occupants of the house and the boys were so stoked because it was a canister of popcorn and other goods, considering they were stoned. I have never seen men such savages for popcorn and snowman aluminum covered chocolate balls in my life before..

After a while, we locked ourselves in his room with pizza and he played video games then he fell asleep and I tossed and turned until 5am when he finally woke up to be nice enough to snuggle and turn on the fan. We drove to Fayetteville to drop his cousin off at the airport, she wasn't very pleasant this week. He and I sat up front and couldn't smoke for 2 and a half hours but we played some great music and the weather got beautiful a couple of hours before the sun set. We waited at the small airport until she checked in then we drove off and got back and just snuggled. I am home now.

I Am Demon

I feel so bad, I can't shake the feeling. I want to say sorry and hope that makes you change your mind. But words can't make someone understand, just a little hope and some time.

And also, lurkers of the world...don't unite and take over. Fuck off, I don't want to see my name plastered on your damn social networks. And I am not the new girlfriend, thanks. I am way cooler than most of you dumb cunts but I'd rather not have to deal with the bullshit you subjectify yourself with just so you can feel important and so-called "empowered."

Anyways, listen to Danzig. I bought hot pink-red hair dye and my mom says I'm gonna stay weird for life.

I want a normal bedtime. I bet tonight will be the third night in a row I watch the sun dimly rise. I haven't been sleeping well, I watch Law&Order: SVU every morning at 4am. I had a dream during a cat nap about that guy and he was so into but I left and ate a sundae in my neighborhood, walking. I am gonna be done with my exams tomorrow finally. All this waiting has drained me. I failed my math final. I decided, again, I am never gonna marry a man like my father. I re-made some shoes today by cutting and painting. I might glitter boots by the end of the week.

"Catch fire,
I'm burning up with you.
Something in the air makes me wonder
Why the hell I'd care about tomorrow
When it's all right here - the wine the hope and you"

Story of my life. I need to start drinking wine. Addison says I've become more girly in recent months.

love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtltJcvxwRs&feature=player_embedded

The rain was so peaceful when I woke up this afternoon, I decided not to go to class. I am tired of my bed and my sleeping pattern. I go to bed at 5 in the morning because I talk to Addison late and then Law&Order is on. I am tired of my blue-green hair and I tried dying it over but it didn't really work, goddamnit. I pretty much am done with classes except for a math exam Friday night, then next Tuesday and finally Thursday.

as Lady Gaga says...

I'm a free bitch baby.